Hello Stranger

It's been a while since I've posted anything. Lot's of empty promises about how I'll write more and what not. I can blame it on being busy, I can blame it on school, work, life, but in the end, it all falls down to me. I want to write, or at least that is what I say I wish to do, and I have not done so. However, being that I am a broadcast major, writing is one of the most important and crucial skills that I should work on.

I have lot's of ideas, the gears are turning in my head, and I need to make something of them. I cannot let them go to waste for the sake of being too busy, or not having enough time. I must make time, I must make the effort to follow my passions and see them come to life. It won't be easy, and I'm not going to lie to myself again and say that I'll definitely start writing here more frequently, however, I will be writing more book & movie reviews for Meandering Entertainer, my g/f's site. I have to if I want to have something to show for myself.

I also need to start working on video and audio projects. I need to show people that I can edit, that I can create, that I'm not just some jackass looking for a quick buck, but a legitimate artist, an innovator. It's time to get my creativity back, man. I've been dead too long, and it's time I rise out of the grave.

Reading... if I don't read, how in the hell will I write? If I ever wish to write the epic novel I have slowly developing in my head (along with a litany of short stories), how will I do so if I do not read? As much as I love videogames and watching TV, I have to ease up on those bad habits, and get back into becoming creative again.

Drawing, it used to be something I loved doing. I still enjoy it when I make the time for it... I don't know that I'll ever draw as much as I used to, but I can't let a talent like that go to waste. So much to do, but with school coming to an end, I feel that perhaps now is the time to finally grow up, finally make something of myself, and finally unleash the potential that I have. It will take me a few years, but I have to do it. I have to create something big, I have to create something interesting, and it has to be something that will set me apart from the rest.

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Ah, Starcraft... I've been playing that game all over again just to remember what that game was like... And it's a sort of love-hate relationship I have with the game. On the one hand, the game is great and a hell of a lot of fun, but on the other hand, it's also a very frustrating one.
I'm no tactician, and I've tried to play the story mode without cheating, but it's just tough. Especially the first part. When you get to Brood wars, the addition of a few extra units makes things that much better, especially when you play as the terrans. Why they didn't think to include medics in the first game was beyond me. Well, I really don't have much to say at the moment. Gonna play more starcraft...

Ah, so it seems I skipped a day, but that doesn't mean I didn't write something! I actually spent most of last night being productive. Worked on a script & drew a little bit. Not bad. Today, well, I got work to do, so I'm keeping this brief.

Dream or reality? I don't know...

I don't know what it is, but I had a strange dream today about a restaurant that I like. The problem is, I don't remember if this restaurant exists in real life, or if it's always been in my dreams.

After a weekend of admittedly smoking my brains out, I'm wondering if these are just the effects of a weekend of getting high like a mofo. Either way, I could have sworn that I have gone here with a high school friend of mine back in the day, but I honestly can't remember. Then again, it's certainly not the first time I dream of a certain place on more than one occasion.

These dream realms are a little odd. There is Dave's Inn, a horrid little place in the middle of a dense forest (and haunted by a malevolent little leprechaun-looking man) that absolutely terrifies me. Although I have only been there twice in my dreams, there are few times that I've dreamed of the surrounding area and felt utter dread, because I know in my sleep that this place is there, and do everything to avoid going up the road that leads to the inn.

Another one I've had a few times is where I drive to Baltimore, or thereabouts. It's usually a very long street, followed by a huge hill, lined with all manor of nice little homes, and there is an apartment there that I spend my time in. The apartment doesn't always look the same, but the street never changes when I dream of it.

There is also this odd museum/church that is familiar in dreams. I always drive north and find it somewhere before Boston. No idea of the significance of the place, but sometimes I find myself wandering into the town, where there are bars and restaurants and strange shifting alleys. Usually the streets look the same, and the museum/church is sometimes different, but the highway leading to the place is always the same long, winding, scenic road.

But this restaurant... I feel like I've dreamed about it before, and perhaps I am confusing dreams with reality, but I feel like the dream restaurant is based off of a real place that I used to go to with a friend named Steve... Of course, when I try to think back on all our old haunts, not many places really come to mind. It's also possible that I am confusing this place with a nice little Greek restaurant located in Flushing, NY, where my girlfriend used to live.

Anyway, there's no real point to this, nothing really of interest to anyone. But I find it funny that I occasionally dream of a certain restaurant, and feel that I've actually gone there in real life. I don't even remember what town it could possibly be on, or what we've even eaten there before... but it kills me that I can't put a finger on it. I'm going to say that I probably dreamed that Steve and I ate there, and that my belief that I may have been there is a sort of "aftershock" of a weekend where calling it excessive smoking would be an understatement...

A proposition for the self...

I don't want to say that I'm making a promise... but instead I'll say that I am making a... proposition to myself, that every day I must write something, be it an article on a different site, or my own personal rantings on this page. The point is to get myself into the habit of doing something, because well, I'm in the habit of sitting around wasting my time. I already broke my promise to draw something everyday, although I haven't given up on it. I am not reading a book everyday like I wish, but I am trying.

On the bright side, I am starting the 100 pushups workout, because well, I see it more as a challenge, and if I can work up to being able to do 100 consecutive pushups... well... then I figure anything is pretty much accessible to me, and that will have shown me that I can overcome the comforts and pleasures that laziness loves to indulge me with. So far, I am pleased with the workout, and the fact that I can actually do a good 15-20 pushups in a row for now... but when I get to 100 in a row, I'll have taught myself to stick to something, no matter how difficult it may be.

I am at least going to write one sentence every day. Even if it's mundane, boring, not at all interesting, the point is to do it. If I don't, then I'm only letting myself down, and if I let myself down, I slowly become a person I don't like, and I become unreliable not only to myself, but to those around me.

School... one last go...

Today is my last day before I start classes again... Not really looking forward to it, but at the same time, this means I only have 1 final semester to endure before I can finally graduate. Hell only knows what I'll do once it's over...

New year! New Life!

Okay, so it's a new year, and I am telling myself that things have to change. I need to write more, I need to get my drawing skill up to snuff, I need to stop being so damned lazy and excercise, and I need to tone it down on the videogames... Seriously.

As much as I love games, they have bogged me down. I don't read as much as I used to, I certainly don't write, and up until recently, I haven't drawn in a while. So this is it. 2010, I must change. I want to change. I need to change. I WILL change! Maybe not over night, maybe not even half way through, but I will change. That is a certainty...